That sharp intake of breath, the pounding of our heart in our chest, the rising of the hair on the back of our neck, and our eyes clenched shut blocking out all the bad (or what we perceive as bad) hoping it will just go away.
In my post a couple of days ago I delved into and broke down what fear was and how it could literally control our lives to the point where we did not recognize ourselves or never truly reached the potential, the happiness, and the fulfillment we could acquire in our lives because of it.
I myself suffered a long time from fear of change, fear of failure, fear of going against the flow of what society dictated me to do or to conform to.
While it has taken a great deal of effort to recondition myself out of this mantra of thinking I have begun to reap the rewards of learning to recognize, control, and eliminate my fear in regards to situations and potential changes in my life.
As the interesting creatures we humans are we exhibit fear in a number of different ways and situations in our lives such as:
- Interpersonal Relationships with other people
- Career choices
- Financial decisions
- Lifestyle we live
While there are of course other examples of fear I chose to touch upon these due to the fact that they are the ones I am most familiar with. I am not scared of spiders, animals, or anything of that nature so I can’t sit here and speak of how to combat those types of fears.
How Can We Combat Fear?
I am going to roll out some ways that I have taken to war against my own personal demons in regards to fear of my decisions in the past, before I become enlightened. Perhaps my own previous struggles with it and my rise up out of it will help some of you as well. Here we go.
Breathing IS Key
How many times has FEAR arisen in you and you find yourself taking short breaths? It’s the first sign of trouble. The problem with that is that if you don’t control your breathing it will lead to not being able to control that fear. Taking a moment to breathe properly will help you control that fear in you.
Take a deep breath in and then while exhaling make sure your exhaling is longer than your inhaling. for some reason this tends to calm me down greatly.
Deep breath in… Deeper breath out. Do this while focusing strictly on your breathing and nothing else for about a minute or two if you can. It also gives you time to think before reacting.
My Personal Number System
I have a number system I use. I don’t quite remember how I learned this tactic but it has served me well. When a situation arises that gets my Red Alert up and I detect a bit of fear and trepidation in regards to situations that arise I grade it from 1-10.
I quite simply ask myself, “Ok Sucka! What the heck is going on? Do you move forward or stop? Is this going to control you or not? What level is this on? Is it a 9 or 10 or is it more like a 4-5?”
I find that by sitting there and asking myself what level I am on with my heightened emotion and senses, it tends to calm me down a bit and allows me to think logically as opposed to allowing fear and emotion guide my path.
Don’t Let Your Imagination Get The Best Of You
This one is a killer. How many times have you not been apprehensive or scared about something and painted 545 different scenarios in your head of why you should not do something when deep down you knew that if you just got over that hump your life would change for the better?
All this does is create stress, anxiety, and unhappiness in your life. A good way to put a stop to this is by using the above number system and then when you have had a chance to allow your logic to stabilize your emotions; envision yourself past that start point. Past the point of getting beyond the fear and having already completed what you were fearful of. Envision yourself as a champion, as successful in that task, achievement, or decision. While Imagination is great to have at times, when it comes to making decisions that you are already fearful of; it can completely deplete your energy, your spirit, and often your clarity. Reign it in and Push Forward.
Fear is a part of our senses and is wired into us permanently and we must learn to live with it. The key to controlling it is to understand it completely and then once you are one with it, beating it into submission.
I look forward to your thoughts and your own personal techniques. Please feel free to share them below.
To Your Health & Inner Wealth,
About Al Spaulding
My favorite article so far, breathing is key to everything… I love it when I am at peace and think of how ridiculous constant fear is. It is useless in reaching success. However at random there are completely stupid things that create fear throughout our days and I agree with you, we have to make fear cry for its mama, meanwhile ridding ourselves of ego since it also has a huge role with fear.
You are so right about how constant fear is ridiculous. It's living your life like a deer. I call it the "Bambi" lifestyle. Fear is sometimes good because it does heighten our awareness however the problem is most of us don't channel it correctly. And it ends up running our lives. "Make Fear Cry For it's Mama!" I like that Frank. lol. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
I am a victim of my fear usually when I have an interview I cannot show all my professional skills because of my stupid fear. I just can not think normally and say some random things. If I could overcome my fear I could have much more alternatives. Thank you for this post I hope this tips will help me.